Sex and the (Sometimes) Single Girl

Sex, Relationships, and Other Femme Thoughts

Sunday, August 06, 2006

The Hat

Upon recently purchasing a tweed newsboy cap, one which looks amazing on from a fashion perspective and was luckily enough not too hard on the bank account, I decided to unveil my new look for a night out with friends. Don't get me wrong, a hat in and in itself is not that interesting, it's really not. However, guys totally dig it. Girls too.

Everywhere I wear my wonderful newsboy (work, school, lunches, etc.) I receive rave reviews. Upon closer inspection, however, I am not usually complimented by complete strangers, but by people I've met beforehand.

My ultimate conclusion is that my hat really isn't that amazing in itself, but it is the change to myself that is interesting. This accessory changes my facial structure, creates mystery in covering the top of my head, lends an accessorized look to me that I usually lack, and brings out my baby blue eyes. The lesson here is that you don't need an expensive set of new lingerie, or a dramatic change of haircut or color to change it up. And people, especially men, love a good change. So, if faced with a situation or a feeling to be a little daring..Don a hat.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Job Infatuation

There is little else in life that requires as much time, and diligent effort, as your job. Your workplace is likely your second home, and your desk is easily the single place you log the most hours anywhere in a given week. However, work is also the place most people would prefer not to be. Wouldn't you agree, that 99% of people would prefer to be at home, watching their dog chew up their brand new sheets (as I am currently doing) or just on their own time? Well, I am here to say that this is one statistic that desperately needs to be lowered.

A good day at work, nevertheless an entire work life, that you absolutely adore puts your entire life in a new perspective. You feel more energized to return those phone calls, happier with your social life (as you no doubt feel supported not only by your friends and family, but also by your coworkers). It takes a 40 hour chunk of your life, and makes it amazing.

So, what to do if you aren't quite this euphoric about your work life? Quit? Possibly... But unless you happen to have a secure financial position or already have another job lined up, the stress will probably land you in another hated personal hell with a bitchy divorcee who never quite lost her pregnancy weight, and will eventually try and get you fired. (If this sounds good, I hear University of Phoenix is hiring). Instead, introspection is necessary.

What are the qualities of an excellent work environment? #1) Are you working with people like you? If you're bubbly, outgoing, and love to spend weekends in the North Fork of the lake... You better hope your coworkers do, too. #2) Do all your coworkers hang out after work? This is not good. There is a fine line between the occasional pre-meeting brunch, and the obligatory Friday, Saturday, and occasional weekday nights. If you don't feel up for this socializing, you will basically be ostracized. However, absolutely no outside contact signals less than to be desired of familiarity. #3) Do you believe in what you are selling? I am hard pressed to think of a job where you aren't in some way assisting the sale of something. If you don't like your product, or you don't believe in the company, you are going to be miserable devoting so much time to it, #4) Does your family/friends support your employment? This is sticky. In some cases, this might not even matter. But, generally speaking, just because you're a knockout in a g-string doesn't mean you'll love being a stripper when your mother breaks into tears at the sound of you voice, and your favorite uncle refuses to look you in the eye. #5) Is your job tolerable? Do you dread going to work? Almost no one is going to wake up at 6:00 am, and bound out of bed so elated they can finally go to work. But, if you start thinking of ways to break your car as to have a valid excuse for ditching work, you need to be somewhere else. I call this reasonably tolerable. Time probably won't whiz by, but it really shouldn't drag. You'll have favorite tasks, and hated ones. But nothing should give you a sick pit in your stomach the night before. I hate mopping, but I don't start avoiding it until I'm at work and it pops up on my task list. #6) Is your environment suitable? Personally, I'd prefer to stab myself with a wide blunt object before enduring hours of elevator music or silence. I like good music, and I like to be able to hear it. I also hate being surrounded by coworkers, but I like them accessible. If you're more of a loner, just embrace it. You'll just hate your coworkers, and ultimately dread work otherwise.. See above.

When you reach nirvana, or "job love", you will just know. It is like really falling in love in almost every way. You'll feel excited, generally upbeat, and you'll just know it's the real deal. Like real love, it may not last forever, and your feelings might change, but there will always be a special place for that job in your heart.


Wednesday, August 02, 2006

More Blurry Lines

At one point, I would have given anything just to have him full out bitch at me. In fact, I sometimes push his buttons just a bit to see where it is going to get me. That little bit of attention, that little bit that proves he cares... Not that I didn't already know completely, anyway. I must be sick in the head.

Where does the lines between caring, and overstepping bounds begin and end? At what point does the decision to voice that you care become a problem?

I think most would agree that, oh, lets just say.... Quitting one of your three jobs unexpectedly might take a little bit of heat from your significant other. It seems perfectly reasonable that surprise, shock, and concern over your well-being might all be expressed. However, at what point does this concern begin to hurt you. Not in the "I want to cry because you are a raging asshole" kind of way... But in the "I must be as huge of a loser as you seem to think I am". Is two minutes of light admonishment and questioning sufficient? Probably, only if treaded extremely carefully, and followed up by a good old fashioned "I just really care for your well-being, but your happiness is all that matter to me".

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Where Does 'Single' End?

Like many young women in excruciatingly long relationships...I have ceased to consider myself 'single'. At least, in the general sense of the term, and the disturbing fact that I think with a we mindset. What sheets am I going to buy for our bed (hehe, honey....I can say its our bed somewhere). What are we doing this weekend? What are we going as for Halloween, and would you mind coordinating your costume to match the dogs?

However, at the exact same time I relish (usually) absolute control over my banking account, my car, and my lifelong plans. I have a long list of things I feel I need to do before I get married, and I can see a definite line in the sand between where I am now, and where I will eventually be going. I am not married, but I am not single either... am I?

Single brings images to mind of making like a starfish under the pink comforter you adore, drinking milk from the carton, and painting the bathroom scarlet. Not-single is more the picture of white sheets, and a handsome guy reading the WSJ in them...well, in half of them. I'd like to say I can evision myself sipping orange juice on the other side, but reality is I'm passed out and drooling on myself.

So... where does this leave me? Single or just unmarried.